Cupid's chokehold

Cupid needs a good kick in the butt. I love a man that ignores me most of the time but when we talk, I forget everything. I deserve better. Last night we were gonna hang out last night but he bailed, he won't tell me why and is ignoring me again. This sucks.


Amanda

MIA

Guess I haven't written in a while.  Things have been a little crazy. Had a birthday recently and as far as the whole Bobby situation goes, I have no idea.  Just when I think we're headed in a good direction, he rips the rug out from under me.  I know he's better than this, I just wish he'd act like it.

Off that subject and on to better more pleasant things.  I have some of the best friends ever!!! I got a chance to go out with them a couple nights ago and had an AMAZING time that I will never forget!!! :)
I am so blessed.  No matter what, I have a great support system.  I love when I get to spend time with them.

God bless

"You Are Loved"

Man, I really wish I knew what I was doing because right now I have no clue. I'm so lost it's pathetic.  Now my one of my best friends is back to being a jerk again, and I'm sticking around.  Why?  It's like hitting my head up against a brick wall.  This is crap (that's putting it nicely).

But I found a song that's making me feel better.  "You Are Loved" by Josh Groban

Hurt Alot Worse When You Go

Why out of all the guys I know, do you have to be the one I can't get out of my head? When I'm not with you I want to be, and when I am there's no place else I want to be.  You ignore me, yet I want you anyway.  I hate what you're doing to me, but I can't imagine my life without you.  I hate this.  I wish I could just walk away, but I can't.  Why is this happening?  Why do I want you so badly?  It kills me inside, yet I can't wait to see you.  What have you done to me? Why did I let you get to me this way?  How did you get a hold of my heart so quickly?

...And all I can do is sit here and ask why.

My new song...

Hurt Alot Worse When You Go
By Toby Keith

Go on and call me up
Tell me you made a grave mistake
You know I never once turned you away
Bad as I hate to say
I know how good it’s gonna be
Just for a night I lay you down by me
And you lie, like you won’t say goodbye
Like you do every time

Chorus:

Come here and kiss me and act like you miss me
Make me believe we’re together
Come here and hold me and baby control me
Touch me like you’ll be here forever
You never cut me deep enough to tell you "no"
Tell me you love me, I’ll hurt a lot worse when you go

I’m not what you want
No I’m not ever gonna be
More than someone you come to in need
And you lie, like you won’t say goodbye
Like you do every time

Repeat chorus

You never cut me deep enough to tell you "no"
So tell me you love me, I’ll hurt a lot worse when you go

Like Whoa

Today was a good day.  I got stuff done and I got a chance to see family I hadn't seen in a while.  It kept me at peace most of the day.  Then I'd end up thinking about how busy I'm about to become with a job, facilitating a sunday school class and school it's going to be crazy, but I know I can accomplish anything with friends, family, and most importantly, God.  He wouldn't have given me this task if he didn't think I could accomplish it, so I can and I will.  I just have to stop thinking about this guy I may like more than I should...

Show me the way to your heart

My friend is no longer ignoring me.  I think I love him as more than a friend and want to be in  relationship.  I can't tell him though because he doesn't want a relationship and I don't want to scare him off.  Just my luck, right?  Oh well, maybe he'll change his mind before too long.  We'll see.  I will let you know.

Upside, my sister's birthday is tomorrow and I have an interview tomorrow as well.  :)

Amanda

"Money, Money, Money"

Getting more applications.  Need a job soon!!! I miss getting a  paycheck. 


At least I'm having lunch with my brother.  Then I'm going to the dentist.